Strong Back, Soft Front: The Courage It Takes to Change Your Home
By Michele Perry, Professional Organizer in Columbus, Ohio
I first heard the phrase strong back, soft front from Brené Brown, and it stayed with me in a way few concepts do. In my work as a professional organizer, I see how deeply it connects to the moments when real change begins, especially when it comes to our homes.
For many women, strength is not optional.
We’ve learned how to carry responsibility early and often: as mothers, partners, professionals, caregivers, and leaders. We’ve learned how to hold it together, push through, and keep going. We’re often taught, directly or indirectly, not to cry, not to ask for help, not to show weakness.
So we build armor.
And for a long time, that armor protects us.
But eventually, it can begin to weigh us down.
Why So Many Women Have a Strong Back
A strong back is something many of us know well.
It’s the ability to keep showing up.
To manage schedules, emotions, expectations, and endless to-do lists.
It’s resilience, responsibility, and reliability.
In our homes, that strength can look like:
Holding onto items “just in case”
Keeping things because someone might need them
Maintaining spaces for others while ignoring our own needs
Carrying the emotional weight of clutter silently
This isn’t a failure.
It’s adaptation.
When Armor Becomes Heavy
What once protected us can eventually become burdensome.
In the home, emotional armor often shows up as clutter, overwhelm, and avoidance. Closets become packed. Rooms stop feeling restorative. Decision-making feels exhausting. Shame quietly creeps in.
And still, we push ourselves to “be stronger.”
But organizing, real, lasting organizing, is not about forcing change.
It’s about creating safety, emotionally and physically.
What a Strong Back Really Means
In the context of organizing, a strong back isn’t about toughness or discipline.
It’s about:
Knowing your worth
Understanding your values
Honoring your needs
Setting boundaries around what you keep, what you release, and how you want your home to support you
A strong back says: I get to choose.
The Soft Front We Often Struggle With
A soft front, on the other hand, can feel much harder.
A soft front is:
Vulnerability
Curiosity instead of judgment
Compassion for yourself
Grace, especially when starting something new
Grace is essential when beginning an organizing journey. Habits don’t change overnight. Patterns weren’t created in a vacuum. Letting go of clutter, of expectations, of old versions of ourselves, it takes time.
A soft front allows you to be seen.
To admit overwhelm.
To ask for help.
This is often the bravest step.
Where Change Truly Begins
Becoming the version of yourself you’re meant to be, at home and in life, requires the courage to set the armor down.
It requires trust.
Trust in yourself.
Trust in the process.
Trust that you don’t have to do this alone.
When you lead from a soft front in your home, something shifts. Decisions feel lighter. Spaces begin to reflect who you are now, not who you were trying to be. Your home becomes a place that supports you, rather than another place where you have to perform.
A Gentle Invitation
When you read the words strong back, soft front:
What do you feel?
What do you notice in your body?
How might you move differently through your day or your home, if you lived from this place?
Organizing isn’t just about creating order.
It’s about creating trust with yourself and your space.
Ready to Begin with Strength and Softness?
If your live in Columbus, Ohio and you’re feeling the pull to create a calmer, more supportive home one that reflects your values and gives you room to breathe, I would be honored to support you.
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You just have to be willing to begin and to trust the process.
Learn more about working together or schedule a consultation at: michelemakesspace.com.
Strong back. Soft front.
This is where meaningful change begins.
